Okay... need to set some rules for myself...otherwise I'll never really start studying...So I've come up with a "plan" while I was at Popular in Thomson Plaza...

Rules:
-Only can use Internet on Mon and Fri to watch RWJ and some other videos from my subscription
-Finish homework before studying
-Must finish at least 2 chapters of 1 subject per day plus AEath and EL papers
-Amath on one day, Emath on another day and EL paper on the day after
-No using phone unless revision is completed or if it's after 8pm
-Besides studying...also need to EXERCISE!!!

So that's all for now,maybe will made some modifications depending on the feasibility of the plan first,so bye bye off to finish my homeworks!

You really suck
I have no reason to see you
This world is filled with guys like you
You s-s-suck
Your flaws are countless
To just put up with it and love you
Is a waste of time

Hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you
I hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you

My memories with you consist only of memories waiting for you
No matter how much I put up with it and put up with it, it wouldn’t end
I-I- I wanted to hear those words, “I love you”
Your unconcerned love, I grew tired of it

It feels terrible, I threw all my pride away
It’s so sad, is this all I’m worth?
I’m worried now of the four-letter word LOVE
I’m scared, you’re hilarious

You really suck
I have no reason to see you
This world is filled with guys like you
You s-s-suck
Your flaws are countless
To just put up with it and love you
Is a waste of time

Hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you
I hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you

H-H-Half the words coming out from your mouth are lies
No matter how many times you deceive me and deceive me, it wouldn’t end
Someday you too will meet a girl like you
Once you feel the pain, you’ll know how I feel

It feels terrible, there was never such thing as a hero
With a happy ending, was I too naive like a fool?
It turned out for the better since now I figured you out
I’m going to leave, you really suck

You really suck
I have no reason to see you
This world is filled with guys like you
You s-s-suck
Your flaws are countless
To just put up with it and love you
Is a waste of time

Hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you
I hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you

I feel relieved
I feel so much better
I’ve erased every last memory of you down to the bone

I feel relieved
I feel so much better
I’ve erased every last memory of you down to the bone

You really suck
I have no reason to see you
This world is filled with guys like you
You s-s-suck
Your flaws are countless
To just put up with it and love you
Is a waste of time

Hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you
I hate you eh eh eh eh eh
I’m fine living without you

Everything was fine today...just that I got fucked up during physics lesson...

So today I asked mrs yeo with regards to the questions in the worksheet,but she didn't wait for me to finish my sentences!She just told me to finish everything first (which I already had) without even looking at whether my worksheet is finished!

There's more,during consultation same thing happened,she didn't even wait for me to finish my question and told me to finish my work again!I only wanted to let her see if my answer is correct!

In the end,got pissed by her,don't bother staying for the consultation anymore...left with ek and gang...
EK and YG left first...then saw sara while waiting for the bus,chatted with her about the things mentioned above...
And asked about Mr Guang,it's better to have a teacher who,which others say, unable to teach but willing to help(?) than to have a teacher,who teaches slightly better,not bothering to teach a student just because of a fucking conflict...

"Did so much saikang,but what do I get?An award with no title and also getting the stuffs which no people wanted...why the fuck am I the one suffering,what makes you think that I'm a Mr Nice Guy just because I'm willing to do the saikangs?
And now,just because of one minor conflict, you start to have prejudices against me, mind you,I'm not done with you taking over NPCC and getting so stingy about many things!"

Hahas I kinda love this song hehes. What's more,this MV is even subbed by JYP themselves, it save me the hassle of finding fan sub videos which are inaccurate sometimes :)

Add some reality into mrs jothi's study plan,and you get...
Reality + Study Plan= A messed up timetable without com andd very little time to rest

So tomorrow I'm gonna have another appointment with mrs jothi again,wonder if I should tell her the truth or ask for and extra 1 week o experimentation?

Hmmmm........

I will go on without her,like a fool who's too sure,oh no
I'm like a bird,who's lost her wings
A fire without it's flame

I don't know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song,without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song

This is our song without a soul
Now that you're gone
What's left of us in this song

This few nights were spent having heart-to-heart talks with mum,and it's through which I understand myself better...

So she told me about myself,from the fact that I've no self-esteem to me not giving a genuine smile,so I'm gonna talk about the smile thing...

Come to think of it...when I smile,it's just my mouth that's smiling only,my eyes still seems crossed or remain in the stationary position...
I kinda think that I haven't been feeling great all this while,I've become so damn emo for some reasons,so many things had happened which upsets me a lot...

So that's all I'm gonna say about this...hopefully all these would come to an end...

"There's so many things I wanted to apologize,but...I'm afraid that nobody will listen...so all I can hope for is that all will go back to once it were again,back to the times when only happiness existed"
"I hate my life...I wished I could be dead at times...Right now,I've got no more tears to cry..."

Okay so ytd went for NAPFA retest,didn't make any improvements other than my pull ups,furthermore,I had a backache,and my thighs hurt freaking bad!I even had problem walking properly...

Next got back both my eng and SS results...and I failed both of them!!!
19/50 for eng P2 and 15/50 for SS,I don't know why sia,supposedly I'm supposed to get at least a 7-8marks if I didn't study for that but...4???Seriously???

Then later got awards night,but before that met with sara first before heading to school,reached the stop that time the card reader got prob,so we're stuck there for like 5mins or so,in the end both of us just leave the bus without tapping our card

Saw smth damn funny before we headed in,it was a long wait before the ceremony starts...
Then prize presentation that time supposed to take wrong prize cos got ppl missing,then idk and asked tp change,in the end I stand there for damn long :x

Aft that was refreshment,not very fulling hahas,then chatted with my friends for awhile before heading home!

Woohoo got back my AEmath results,and I managed to pass...both of them together!!!
Got B3 for both of them,which is a great improvement for me since I've failed both of them in last year's SA2
just need some more hard work and perseverance,and I'll definitely secure an A1 for my O levels!

On the other hand,SPA was wtf,I had no idea what the paper is about...
In the description, it says the pull too fast(speed) will break the plasticine but then they want us to investigate how the load will affect the strength of plasticine...
Had intended to just sleep through the whole 1hr,but decided to crap my way thru after napping for 40+min,after all it's just a practice...

Lunch with KS,WS,XC,QH and JH was awesome,laughed like mad during that time!
Then aft that did some revision with KS&QH,but I only did the worksheet mrs yeo gave
After that went to see the NDP rehearsal,had a few comments with one another,after that went back home...

So now gonna do my homework first...then do some revision...mrs jothi's study plan was very ineffective, or maybe it's because this week got too many stuff happening?
I'll see fo myself whether is it good...even if it's bad,I'll still lie to her...don't really find counselling very useful :P

Do you remember,do you remember, do you remember...all of the times we had
Do you remember,do you remember, do you remember...all of the times we had

Let's bring it back(Bring it back!)
Let's bring it back(Bring it back!)
Let's bring it back(Bring it back!)
Let's bring it back(Bring it back!)

Bring it back to the time when you and me had just begun
when I was still your number one
Well, it may seem farfetched, baby girl
But it can be done

Today kinda sucked actually,I just realized that there's SS test today...but luckily had been memorizing chap 4 for my previous MYEs so lucky still have the memory :P

Was freaking tired after the test...after all I was spamming all my brain juices to recall most of my memories back...

In case you guys haven't know,I get frustrated easily whenever I'm disturbed if I'm tired...

Amath is really killing me...the geometrical proofs and all that...I've got no idea how to prove them...So maybe gonna check Ace-learning to understand the topic better

Got back phy paper today,messed up real bad...only got 42.5,but then may have calculation error...so I may lose 1-2 marks...

Only felt better during Bio,the lesson really made my day!

Went to TPY after that to buy Amath for frens,Emath was out of stock again...had a nap before reaching there...

Okay so...I'm being lazy again hahas,I'm supposed to be studying but here I am using the com to update the blog even though I doubt anyone ill have the patience to finish reading my long and boring posts :P

So this week I've only finished nutrition in human, and only some part of transport in human...I tried to study but just thinking about the heart is sufficient enough to turn me off

And I'm still not very clear about the stuffs that I had studied as well!But never mind that,I'm intending to start a study group since AP is over already...hopefully this plan would succeed(?)

Come to think of it...it's been a long time since I've actually gone out with my friends,especially those from 2/1,friday was the first time of the year that nearly all the 2/1 guys were having lunch tgt, it reminds me of the joys I had during 2/1

Okay I've just realised that mrs yeo is asking for my skill 3 which I've found it but didn't place it in my bad (pretty stupid eh?)...and I still need to go counseling,but most probably by myself,cos there's some personal things I don't want mum to hear :P

This feeling has been killing me from inside...almost every time...I always find myself alone...even when I'm with my group of friends,it feels like there's this huge gap in between me and my friends...

And also,sometimes after an outing...I had this feeling of emptiness as I made my way home,maybe I've enjoyed myself too much and could not get use to after the departure...

Now it becomes worst...this feeling has made me to think too much,for example when I wanted to sit with my friends,I kept thinking if they would really want me to sit with them.Next,I've been having this mindset that no one cares about me or will actually lend me a helping hand when I needed them...

This feeling came during the first term of sec3,a lot of things happened,and I was pretty messed up that time,so I was too mentally tired to talk to anyone...and then this feeling came...all of a sudden I feel alone...

The bottle is going to be full...and I fear the worst when it reaches its capacity
Everyday I would wake up with a dreadful feeling...I'm starting to think negatively about life,I had this urge to die...So I wished that I'll age very fast in order to reincarnate into a better person in my next life...

All I need is someone that will care about me...know that I'm upset even though I seemed happy and not hesitating to ask me,and also a lot of patience to teach me my mistakes...